Don’t get me wrong…she was a WILD animal and if given the chance she would have climbed up into the forest canopy without even looking back. But she made the best out of a terrible situation and during the process we both made a new friend. She knew the difference between me and other people. When I walked up to her and said hello, she looked over for me like she knew I was bringing her a special treat. Her favorite food, young cinnamon leaves, were almost always in my hand and I used to love watching her frantically try to get them in her open mouth…like she had never eaten before and she was starving…basically the same face I make while eating nachos.

Eventually her baby passed away. This whole ordeal was too much on his tiny little body and he was surely born with complications like unhealthy/underdeveloped lungs. Losing him was tough…seeing them together was SO amazing, probably some of the most beautiful moments I will ever witness…were their interactions together. I was worried Milena would be depressed, so I never let her forget that she still had me and that we would keep fighting until her arm was healed and she was back out into the forest. I was so determined that she was going to be free again one day…able to make more babies. But strangely…her arm wasn’t healing. It had been three months since her surgery and her arm was still painful and the X-rays showed the bone was not making enough progress. Finally through some research and comparison with human studies, we realized that her body was rejecting the metal pins placed during surgery. We pulled the pins out and tried applying a regular cast…going back to square one to see if conventional methods would heal the bone.

Immediately after pulling the pins she felt SO much better…this made me hopeful…maybe luck was finally on her side? She was more active and her arm was less swollen. However, after a few weeks with the regular cast, it became clear that she still wasn’t healing. X-rays showed that the damage to her bones was too severe and she was never going to completely heal. Unfortunately the only choice left was to amputate her arm. The day of her amputation surgery…I couldn’t even watch…I was too sad because I knew that this was the beginning of the end for her. How could she be released with only one arm? If she had to spend her life in captivity…there was no way she would survive…her spirit was too strong to be kept in a cage. I visited her every day after her surgery. Bringing her her favorite treats, taking her out to trees to see if she wanted to climb. I was clinging to any shred of possibility that maybe with a lot of help and patience she could learn to live in the wild with only one arm. I was never going to give up on her. But to be honest…she never seemed like herself after the amputation. She had been climbing without a functional arm for months…but now that that dead weight was gone she wasn’t climbing well at all. Her balance was off and she just seemed depressed. I think losing her arm was the final straw. She died two weeks after her amputation. I was with her…holding her head and rubbing her ears. I hope she knew how much I loved her.